I have always strived to be a calm parent, even before I had kids. The kind of mother that doesn’t jump up in reaction to a seemingly small, skinned knee. A mother who is not reactionary, but is responsive. I’ve read books about it that probably engrained this into my personality even more than it already was (this one and this one are two of my absolute favorite).

From these books, and my little experience, I am always observing out of the corner of my eye when my kids are exploring. But I give them their space to make their own decisions and take their own risks. If they have a short fall that I can tell they are not seriously hurt, I watch in my peripheral vision how they react. I check to see: what are they going do, how do they feel about this. But I do not give them eye contact and I try to keep my expression as neutral as possible. Wait why? Because once they see me watching and read my face, it allows them to think “Mom is really focused in on me, this means it’s a really big deal so I’m gonna cry about it”. If it does hurt and is a big deal, they are going to cry no matter if I am looking at them or not. But most of the time, I see them look right at me, I give them no reaction, and they stand back up and continue playing.